About 1/100th of what I've seen my colleagues go through this year
Jen here. I know that Gilly and I ususally do a great big, morality-taling, finger-wagging, ass-laugh-offing big ol' article on what to NOT do during your company holiday party (or if you're really (un)fortunate, holiday parties).
However, this year, circumstances have made us tardy. Gilly had a minor medical thing which messed up his arm for a bit, and until a few days ago I was laid up with either the worst head cold I've had in 5 years or a mildish case of flu--and taking care of Round 2 of Holiday Shit (Chanukkah was round 1). Now, Gilly is on the road and I am about to get on the ol' Metro North myself for too much booze and not enough sleep at Dad's. As such, I propose a novel way to handle this thread:
You have all heard Gilly and I rant on this subject for a few years now. Instead, why not share YOUR lurid tales of company holiday party excess here? If you have an especially long/lurid post, please email it to me at jenonymous@gmail.com and I'll tag them up--with names changed to protect the guilty--when I get back post-Northern European Tree Cult Festivities. Just be sure to put "Holiday Party Thread" in the subject line so that I don't think it's another Nigerian currency scam email. Otherwise have fun tagging up your do's and don'ts in the comments, and I will try to contribute more upon my return.
Happy Holidays, all, whatever you celebrate. Keep fighting the good fight, and if you're not of the Dead Evergreen Pursuasion, take the next two days as a chance just to chill, eat, sleep, and enjoy the relative quiet.
