YOUR LAYS ARE NUMBERED
5, PURE;10, YOU'RE PARIS? THE FUNNY MATH OF N.Y. SEX
By MARINA VATAJ
"I've had nine sexual partners, but I tell my boyfriend that I've only had three. I don't count some of them since they only happened once."- Andrea, 28
October 24, 2006 -- TO a woman, size does matter. But it's not the size you're thinking of. What women really care about is the length of the list of former lovers, which is usually either too many or too, too many. No matter how sexually liberated (or liberally sexual), most women believe that the number of guys they've had sex with (the average being somewhere between 7.2 and 10.5, depending on the survey) really does count.
According to Karyn Bosnak, author of "20 Times a Lady" (HarperCollins, $13.95) - a novel about a 29-year-old singleton who vows to cap her lovers at 20 since it's almost double the average - when it comes to men, it's all about the number.
"Women are very conscious of the number of sexual partners they've had," says Bosnak, 32. "And even though it's ridiculous to worry about increasing your number, that's exactly what happens."
Take Jessica, a 23-year-old who's had sex with five guys - that's five fewer than the average woman - and is already thinking about stopping while she's safe, so she won't be sorry.
"I'm at a point where I feel I have to seriously consider before having sex with the next guy I'm interested in, because he's just going to up my number if he's not the one."
The apropos number of partners changes depending on which survey you check out. The Durex condom company states that the average number of partners for women is 10.5, while a survey conducted by physorg.com says the average is more like 7.2.
Bosnak, who researched the topic for her novel, found that women like Jessica think their short list should be shorter partly because the woman with longer lists tend to lie about her numbers.
EXCUSES NOT TO ADD HIM TO 'THE NUMBER'
If he yells out another woman's name
If one or both of you ends up gently weeping
If he might be gay
If he took you out for a vegan meal first
If you're drunk, or you could have been drunk had you been drinking
If you just gave up smoking
If you just gave up having meaningless one-night stands
If it's Tuesday
If he's small
If he's small-minded
If he's Jared Leto
Oh, yeah. Ever see Maury? Sure you have.
The girls somehow can't remember which guy got them pregnant. Because some of the sex "didn't count".
See, numbers are a bad thing, but here's the deal, any number over than one might as well be 100. Because thinking about 12 strange dicks isn't any better than 40 strange dicks. It's still 11 to 39 too many.
Now, it's one thing to know about boyfriends, people you might run into in the street, but raw numbers? Why ask for trouble? You won't like the answer anyway.
I mean, who cares. If you're the last guy, you won, right? And you certainly don't want a virgin, when you're sane.
Here's a simple mental trick for guys: think about what you were like , oh at 25, or 15, and then think about your current girlfriend. Think she'd have been into you then? No? Then consider yourself lucky.
Oh, and women, it's not cool to ask guys what they've done with other women. A gentleman would never discuss it with you. No matter what's nagging at you, it's really none of your fucking business about the specifics.
We don't ask about numbers, you don't ask about details
posted by Steve @ 3:09:00 AM