Time to pay the Green Machine

I bet his mom wishes he was home


I just walked in the door, ate something, and am now going through my mail. This came in over the transom and I'm just fucking stunned. Surprised, no. Stunned, yes.

My cousin, who's an Air Force wife, is lucky that her husband is teaching at the Air University for a three year tour. But make no mistake, she's tough as nails. She's lived in Japan, Texas, Virginia, and worries about every possible deployment. But since he's an F-15E maitenance officer, his risk is moderate. But still, it's stressful and only the strong stay married. Because when they started out, he was an airman and being broke and young is not easy. Many people don't make it..

Unlike my cousin, who lived on an EM's salary, then an NCO's salary for a decade, this woman has only seen the upside of military service, the parties, the prestige. Well, there's the other side and that means doing his job.

Didn't she think the war could come knocking on her door?

The person who sent this to me said the woman was a chickenhawk. I think what happened is that reality hit her in the ass and she can't cope.

Of course, she's making his job all the harder with her breakdown, which is what this is. He can't not go, he's probably a Lt. Col. All she's doing is making his life hellish.

RESERVE OFFICER'S WIFE THINKS HE'S CHOSEN ARMY OVER HER DEAR ABBY: My sister needs help. Her husband, "Dale," who has been in the Reserve for 15 years, is being deployed to Kuwait next month, and she's a mess. She went to the emergency room this morning because she thought she was having a heart attack. It was an anxiety attack. One minute she's distraught because he's leaving; the next she wants to divorce him.

"Andrea" was always proud of Dale's service. She has happily bragged that she's an officer's wife, about the pay, the retirement that will come their way, and the travel deals they have enjoyed staying at Army properties all over the country. Until now, she has supported the action in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Now, however, she has kicked Dale out of the house because she believes he has chosen the Army over their family. She says he won't be allowed to call or e-mail her or their two kids while he's on active duty.

Andrea refuses any suggestion of support services through the Army because she doesn't think the session will be kept confidential. Although I want to support her, I believe she's denying Dale the support he deserves. It infuriates me that she has been in favor of the military action as long as it involved other people's families and not her own.

Andrea and Dale have been married 20 years. She has never lived alone, nor does she have the means to support herself. She has been seeing a therapist for the past few months for depression, but her next session isn't for a few weeks. How can I help? What can anyone else do to help? -- CONCERNED SISTER

DEAR SISTER: Please put aside your anger and give your sister all the emotional support you can, because she's extremely needy right now. She has been hit with cold reality. Her behavior is irrational because she is frightened. Her husband is headed for a war zone from which he might not return. With her husband gone, she may also have to find a job to supplement his salary. She should be talking to her physician and clergyman as well as her therapist. (She may need medication as well as therapy to see her through.)

I hope your sister comes to her senses before it's too late, or she may spend the rest of her life regretting her immaturity and self-centeredness. Her attempts to punish her husband are counterproductive and could sabotage his peace of mind and safety. This is not a matter of choice. Her husband is fulfilling an obligation.

posted by Steve @ 6:33:00 PM