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Comments Credits
Comments by YACCS
Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Adults in an adult situation

Atrios came up with this.

Girls Gone Wild

Not having enough actual news about missing white women, CNN has apparently handed its news division over to the producers of Girls Gone Wild.'s a sample which I grabbed before it scrolled off my Tivo. From CNN's hard hitting report on what naughty 18 year old women get up to in Aruba:

My guess is that they are very angry with the missing white woman for not providing them with a sufficient number of genuine news updates, so they'll start pushing the "she deserved what she got" angle.

As much as anyone cares, I think the media's biases in this case make it quite instructive. This is a very good case to understand somethings about our media.

First of all, a senior trip was to an amusement park, not Aruba, when I was a kid. These folks clearly have money.

If this had been a bunch of black or mixed race or even poor kids who got drunk and then one was found dead, after grilling her classmates, they might have asked about the locals. But what surprises me is that no one asked about the lax supervision on this trip. Because these were middle class kids, their drinking and screwing around wasn't really a factor in the news coverage. Clearly, these kids were not closely supervised while they got drunk and picked up men. The chaperones who should have put clear limits on their behavior, well, were too busy screwing around on their own.

They had something like one chaperone for 30 kids? How could trouble not erupt. If not a disapperance, then a fight or some other idiocy.

I don't think it's not so much that "she got what she deserve", but a media refusal to look at their conduct and say these girls were placed in a less than optimal situation. I would also bet no one had an honest discussion with them about acting like adults and making adult choices. Of course not. It was a "Christian" school. So they could get drunk, fuck any cute boy and no one would say things like:

"Be careful. Don't just go off with any cute boy. He may not act that cute when you're alone."

"Carry condoms and lube"

"When you get drunk, you tend to make shitty decisions. So stick together and don't let someone go off alone."

Now, I've always been confused as to why a girl would go off with three guys. Was she going to pull a train? Or did she have two spare sex organs for them to use? Because otherwise, that sounds like a really bad decision. One which she should have been warned against. Boys in groups tend to do things they wouldn't do alone. And the expectation of sex must have been high.

What also needs to be discussed with women going overseas, even to a vacation resort, is the perception of American women, courtesy of Hollywood. Which is this: they're easy. European men see American women on vacation. In a place like Aruba, it's even worse. So they expect American women are easy targets, and even better, they don't hang around, so if there are any "accidents", they deal with them at home. This was even the source of a column in the Onion, where this girl was waxing poetic about this Italian guy and the Italian guy was bragging about banging this silly American girl. Well, there's reality in that, and I've seen it.

My friend's bar used to attract a bunch of au pairs, a lot of Scandinavians, a lot of English. Some were cute. But they all fucked my friends. They would go off with them without thinking twice. It was ridiculous. We used to joke with one friend that he shouldn't go to England if he wanted to avoid a paternity hearing. This friend fell hard for a Norwegian girl. So he goes to Norway on vacation. To meet this girl, whom he thought he was engaged to.

Now, I didn't dig that at all. The last thing I wanted to do was share women with my friends. I didn't want to be naked with women who had seen my friends naked. Call me funny, but it wasn't anything I was going to do.

We were sitting in the bar, on a Sunday, watching the Jets, when we heard about our friend's adventure.

"So he got there, and she was with her boyfriend?"

"Well, not there, but yeah."

"That must have been fun. You go to freaking Norway, to meet this girl, and Ole is at the airport. How the fuck did he explain being there?"

We were laughing.

When he got back, I asked him why the fuck did he go to Norway.

"Well, I had a nice time, except for the boyfriend part. They must keep the beautiful ones at home, because they sure don't come here."

He wasn't at the airport, but she had a boyfriend she'd neglected to mention. And which cost him a couple of grand to find out about.

But here's what I realized and I told him. "You know, these girls are not home. They can do what they want. So when they go back home, they go to their boyfriends and it's like nothing happened."

I had asked another friend, who was ex-Force Recon, if he would have wanted any of the woman he had slept with on deployment to visit him.

"Are you fucking kidding? Fuck no."

American often place their children in danger by not levelling with them. Or even explaining that people's morals change on vacation. Adult conversations for people who are adults.

You send these kids to Aruba, to a situation where they can drink all day, get laid if they have any wit about them, and be adults for the first time. They're not kids and they're not in Epcot Center.

Nor is the media going to say that. They are not going to blame the parents for not being honest, or demanding their kids not drink. Because Natalee Holloway only had limited tools to deal with the adult situation she placed herself in. By drinking, she lowered those odds, but it is likely that her parents, school and chaperones did little to increase her awareness or decisionmaking skills.

Sure, she made bad decisions, but they shouldn't have the death penalty attached to them. And frankly, she was placed into a situation which she could not handle and her familt and friends did not equip her to deal with. You could say she was a victim of American sexual schizophrenia, but that would never make the papers or CNN

posted by Steve @ 2:49:00 PM

2:49:00 PM

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