The Worst Things Howard Dean can say

The Worst Things Howard Dean can say

Everytime Dean opens his mouth, the media is looking for a mistake to come from it.

I figure let's get the absolute worst things which he could say, collect them in one place and see what they look like. Now, you might like to see him say some of these things, but that's not the way American politics works.


Dean: Abortion? I ripped them out with my teeth

Dean: Jews? Into the sea with them, the real capital of Palestine is Tel Aviv

Dean defends boy love shack in woods:"they were over 18, ok."

Dean: I fucked the Bush twins and here's the photos

Dean: so my wife is an animal-sacrificing pagan, who's isn't?

Dean: everyone runs a pornography studio in their garage.

Dean: Sodomy? Make it mandatory

Dean: why not bring back slavery, it's working for Wal-Mart

Dean: Bill Clinton's only crime is that it was that he was caught with Monica Lewinsky and not Sharon Stone

Dean: so did shooting those Vietnamese kids make you feel like a man, John? Or was that before you turned against random killing for other people?

Dean: so Joe, when you found you were the only pious Jew in America, did it make that divorce any harder?

Dean: Wes, how come you were never fragged. From the way Hugh Shelton talks about you, he wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire.

Dean: Al? What the fuck do you do for a living besides annoy white people?

Dean: Dennis, it must have been a hard switch from race-baiting mayor to hippie vegan? Who did you fuck to do that? And what planet did you meet them on.

Dean:Ralph, you take it up the ass, right? Come on, you can admit it, destroyer of marriages.

Dean: Carol? How come you and your boyfriend aren't in jail, no seriously? Is it because Oprah likes you?

Dean: so how does Tom Delay's dick taste, Dick? Is it chemically from all the pesticides? I mean, you must have been blowing him or something from all the shit you took. B-A-C-K-B-O-N-E. Look, I know you didn't go to Oxford or Yale, but surely they taught you spelling. You do know what that spells? I know you don't have one, so it might elude you.

Dean: look, all you conservatives know you hate abortion until the baby is black. You know damn well, little Missy isn't bringing any octaroon into your home.

Dean: You know, David Brooks isn't really all that stupid. It's just that he's compared to Paul Krugman every day. Kinda like comparing Woody Allen to Shaquille O'Neil, isn't it?

Dean: You have to wonder if sniffing chemicals makes you both short, and stupid, because it seems to have worked wonders for Tom DeLay.

Dean: Democratic Losers Council. Come on, Al From and Bruce Reed have won zero elective offices. Getting electoral advice from them is like getting advice on women from a priest.

Dean: It must suck to be Tom Daschle and know Nancy Pelosi has more balls than you

Dean: Jesus/Satan. two sides of the same coin.

Dean: What's all this nonsense about invisible sky friends?

Dean: Sleep with men, sleep with women. Makes no difference to me

Dean: Everyone should have a sex tape to sell on the internet: I do

Dean: So Karl, which one of your parents ran Treblinka again?

Dean: I love George W. Bush. Only in a America could a man squander a Yale education, drink like a fish for 20 years and wind up President

Dean: So what's it like being Dick Cheney's bitch?

Dean: You're fucking Condi on the side, right George? We all know your dad had a piece. Laura's really one of those closet Texas dykes and you're gettin' some brown sugar, right?

Dean: you know, Condi would have buy an upgrade to incompetent, right?

Dean: So, how do you spell pretzel again? J-A-C-K-D-A-N-I-E-L-S?

Dean: Ok, so we both went to Yale. But how you everything you did was so gay? Jerking off for those Skull and Bones guys? Did the DKe's really make you fuck a goat?

Dean: So which one is the slut, and which one is the drunk? I always get them confused.

Dean: You do know Rumsfeld is batshit crazy, right? Here's a DVD, it's called Dr. Strangelove. No it's not about your time as a DKE.

Dean: It's odd, Laura doesn't look like she has a penis

Dean: No, National Security Advisor is not the name for the woman who tucks you in at night.

posted by Steve @ 6:45:00 AM