It's just a drink
The Hijab has magical anti-man
Victim-blaming, still not cool
Published by Amanda Marcotte January 2nd, 2007 in Gender Issues, Crime
Please, god, let people stop getting enamored of the idea that the most important battle of all time for gender equality has got to be getting rid of the small perks of being female in the club scene. Yes, yes, it’s true that ladies’ night is discrimination against men, but for some reason anyone who complains about it doesn’t want to hear my solution, with is that women pay 76% of the price men pay on every item until pay equity is reached. This fair solution that addresses all horrible injustices, from ladies night to actual injustices, just doesn’t seem to be a marketable idea for some reason.
I bring this up because Liz Funk has stepped in it again* with her latest articlebemoaning the fact that because men basically run the nightclubs and women are desired to be seen in them, women get a secondary power of being able to manipulate male power for small favors. You know, like those horribly unjust 25 cent well drinks. To make this entire situation worse, Funk quotes Gary Miller in the story, who is mainly an expert in being a douchebag, as we learned when he got into a big war with Jill at Feministe and the fine folks at Gawker, who didn’t appreciate his bizarre fantasy-masquerading-as-editorial of legions of club sluts crying into their hangover coffee because they keep get the fuck-and-run. From this bizarre fantasy, so you know I’m not joking:
You just dance. Then you meet a guy, he buys you drinks, you go home with him, then you wait by your phone the whole next week; but he doesn’t call until he’s really drunk at 3 a.m. the following Saturday. So you analyze every detail of your encounter with your friends. You start to think maybe he’s just busy. But really, you’re just the slut from last week.
Women think every guy they have a one night stand with wants to marry them. Gary knows, because he saw it on the teevee. And the teevee will never lie to you about how people really act in order to reinforce stereotypes, now would it?
Gary’s a pig with an overinflated sense of how much women need his approval, so why on earth is Liz Funk quoting him in her article about nightclubs?
“Bar and club owners definitely exploit women,” said Miller, who wrote an article in November headlined “Girls exchange dignity for attention in trendy clubs” in the Washington Square News, New York University’s student newspaper. “Women become a commodity of the establishment that owners use to draw male patrons in. I think the reason most men go to bars and clubs is to find women. This is why they’ll pay a cover charge while women get in free; they’re paying for the women inside. Bar and club owners know this. They know the success and appeal of their establishment depends on the quantity and attractiveness of the girls inside.”
There are two major problems here, apparently:
1) That men have more power and money than women and therefore women end up getting treated like a sexual commodity.
2) Some women realize they can use their commodification in minor, limited ways to get favors.
Which is the concern of “feminist” Liz and her buddy Gary? Well, we’ll get around to discussing how problematic male dominance is after we’ve convinced every woman ever to avoid ever turning tables and gaining some small pleasures here and there. Men feel they can use you for sex? You should cry and give up on sex rather than use them right back and show them payback’s a bitch.
But in case this isn’t appalling enough, Funk then breaks into hand-wringing about how women just keep going out there and apparently raping themselves. She invokes poor Jennifer Moore, an 18-year-old rape and murder victim, and then goes on about how the booze somehow rapes you.
Ok, women get drunk at clubs.
But you know what, most of them go home alone or with female friends. They usually don't go home with guys.
Amanda didn't mention this in her anger, but the reality is that getting a number is a good night. Getting laid is like winning a lottery scratch off card
I wouldn't take any comments on sex in the WSN seriously, as a former member of the paper and NYU alum, I would have to ask what he knows about getting laid. Miller isn't a pig, he's just bitter those sluts won't sleep with him. The fact that he's a newspaper geek has nothing to do with it, or that he's a kid.
In fact, if I introduced young Gary to Amanda he would have no clue what to say to her. He would just sit there mesmerized and praying she would take his virginity. It's the same with all these guys. They rage against what they can't have and don't understand. Now, Jen and I know her, and found her charming. But a lot of guys can't deal with a smart, opinionated woman.
I think Amanda is being a little harsh on him, because he is a kid and he's talking out of his ass. She's a woman and there is a gap there which is pretty large. He's saying shit he doesn't really understand. This is a kid debating women, and that is always going to be ugly.
When I was his age, we went to bars to get fucked up, not meet women. Women were nice, but beer was better.
So let me make a couple of points:
Women like sex. Sometimes they pick up men. Most, they let them buy them dinner first.
Sometimes women get really drunk in bars and dance like strippers.
Sometimes 18 year old girls are less aware of their surroundings than they should be. Girls often abandon each other when out. When I was in college, we prevented two rapes of nearly unconscious girls.
Jennifer Moore was raped by a predator. He hunted her down, kidnapped her and raped her. That had little to do with her being drunk.
Gary Miller is a kid, Liz Funk an idiot. Women make their own choices, they aren't trading anything for a drink.
posted by Steve @ 1:42:00 AM