Be Republican, be Gay, be proud
You know, as 42 year old heterosexual male, I feel only the Democrats will protect my lifestyle
Because the GOP is being taken over by gays
Sure, they talk a good game, bash the gays and all that, say they can't marry, but come on. They're the lavender party and we know it.
Look at Democratic gays, dour, like Rosie O'Donnell and Barney Frank. Would you ever cruise (one of them gay words for hit on) them in a bar? Come on. You wouldn't march next to them in a pride parade, much less invite them to a tea party. Dour, old, unsexy, whatever word you'd want to use. They are not who you imagine as prime gay fantasy bait.
Now, look at the Republicans. First, you have that hunky Jeff Gannon. A reporter/rent boy, he worked his way into the White House. Now, come on, wouldn't you like that piece of man meat on your table? I mean, as Republicans go, he's pretty hot and I hear, hung.
I know you'd follow him at a pride march.:)
Then you have Ken Mehlman and David Drier. They say they're not gay, but come on. They're as gay as an Ungaro spring frock. Ask them about their lastest trip to Mykonos and all the hot greek boys there. They won't give that blank look that most Dems will. Gay cruise? Huh?
Only Republicans are able to express that care free sexuality of the pre-AIDS era. They aren't burdened with the expectations of being useful members of the community and taking all those icky stands.
Look at how peverted closeted Dem gays are. Imagine Jim McGreevey, shovelling rest room cock after rest room cock in his grimy mouth. Lying to his wife about his manlust. His head filled with banging Tom Brady and Peyton Manning as he does his wife.
Republicans don't burden themselves with things like wives. There is no Mrs. Mehlman, Mrs. Drier. Why hide when you can flaunt? I mean, has anyone ever seen Mehlman with a woman? Why eat fish when you can have a hot dog? He's all about the men, as is his buddy Drier.
What about the fundies? What about them?
Ted Haggard is one. After a sermon, he'd go down to the rent boy, smoke some meth, and then ass bang for a while. He's a good Republican, and he was when he was gobbling manmeat, he still supported the GOP agenda. Why? Because it's the agenda of gays. The kind of gays who want to remain footloose and fancy free. Forget marriage, why limit your choices when you can have them all. A wife to cook, and a man to bang your ass. Not that you need the wife. You can hire a maid.
The gays are even established in Congress, with the House leadership full of out and proud gays. What do the Dems have to match that. You can bet Nancy Pelosi will have a bunch of boring old straights by her side, people who don't even screw their assistants, forget pages.
Only Republicans would bring gay men to run the House and not try to hide it. Only under the GOP would gays rise so quickly.
And let's not forget the lesbians.
Mary Cheney took one for the team and is preggo. I mean, just imagine that slicked up turkey baster filled with donated sperm, maybe from Mehlman or Drier, going right up the main canal to the target.
Mary is a prime example of how the GOP has embraced the real gay world. They play that "we hate gay marriage" card for the rubes, but for those in the know, the GOP is gay heaven. You can go far if you're gay in the GOP.
posted by Steve @ 12:55:00 AM