Reporter detained by Allen goons
Raus, raus Amerikaner
Today, in my capacity as field reporter for Air America and The Young Turks, I attended a political rally for George Allen. If given the opportunity, I intended to ask the Senator about his remarks concerning his opponents and his desire to “knock their soft teeth down their whiny throats“. I was wondering if that desire had anything to do with him deciding to do nothing when his campaign staff and supporters assaulted me last Tuesday.
Well, his supporters supported him again today. They really are a bunch of jock straps.
As the Senator finished his speech, I tried to ask my question. They did something that is absolutely acceptable. They shouted louder than me. “Six more years. Six more years!” Fair enough. They crowded between me and the Senator. Equally fair.
I however, saw an opening. There was no obstruction between me and the door through which the Senator had to pass in order to get to the tarmac. I made haste to establish position so that I could ask my question before the Senator left. I had just about arrived when I saw a blur out of my peripheral vision. A kid that had stood in front of me during Allen’s speech (whispering things back and forth to whom I thought was his mom) just barely clipped my arm and took a dive.
There was a cop right there. “Why did you push him?” he asked as he grabbed my arms and began the process of handcuffing me. Of course, I did nothing of the sort. I knew the entire time that I was at that event that I needed to be on my best behavior. And I was.
I had been questioned hostily throughout the wait for the Senator and I answered all questions with patience, sincerity and politeness.
The beautiful part about all of this? There’s video of everything that happened. Look for it soon.
In the meantime, I thought I’d help Senator Allen with his oppo research. He will certainly be putting out another press release detailing my sordid past. I want to get out in front of that and confess some stuff.
- ’tis tru that when I was in the sixth grade, I burped obnoxiously and disrupted class. For that, I was sent to the principle’s office. It is a part of my permanent record.
- More than once, I’ve gone to bed at night without brushing my teeth.
- I sometimes sit too close to the TV
- I once grew my hair long and listened to heavy metal music.
- In my past, I engaged in pre-marital sex. Usually after drinking too much. Sometimes I regretted it.
- I’m a Darwinist. Yes, that’s right, I believe in that radical thing called science …
- I was once married to a Jewish girl. We divorced, and now I am one half of an inter-racial marraige. And we’ve created progeny.
Anyway, that stuff is a little juicier than the stuff in his last hit piece - that I actually engage in the electoral process and write about it on the internets…
Why the fuck is Allen dicking around with Mike Stark? Why? He isn't going to win him an extra vote and he's sucking the air out of the Allen campaign.
Good work, Mike.
posted by Steve @ 12:49:00 AM