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Friday, October 27, 2006

So far from Harold


(AP Photo/Mark Humphrey)

That carmel skin, that thin frame, oh,
he is so lucious

White Bread, Cinammon Toast

Josh Marshall asks: What's Bob Corker's deal with Harold Ford's sex life?"

I believe I can answer that, having seen a few Douglas Sirk movies in my time.

Bob Corker is gay. He may not know it yet, he may never know it, he may go to his sarcophagus wrapped in denial, but his fascination with Ford's prowess and good looks gives him away, as does his political affiliation. All Republican political figures are gay, especially the men. When President Bush insists on kissing one bald head after another, the psychosexual symbolism speaks for itself. He's planting his lips on big uncircumcised Kojak peckers. When Rush Limbaugh packs his Viagra and jets off on a tropical jaunt with the guys, it's assumed there are saucy wenches awaiting him under the sultry palms, but I wonder--I wonder if it's cabana boys making the hammock sway under the moonlight. Republican women--those masochistic saints--are more like Joan Allen playing Pat Nixon under layers of frosting, their rigid smiles forged by years of living a lie with a man infatuated with other men and too timid to take out a subscription to Details magazine, lest he be exposed. The closet in which he dwells doubles as a panic room with a convenient minibar, so that if he ever stumbles or strays, he can blame it on the creme de menthe, not the burning yearning of his heart. Perhaps Corker has a special thing for black men, and can't get enough of that smooth and creamy Blair Underwood. There's no shame in that. Many a significant look has been exchanged in the locker room at half-time.

The only shame is that Harold Ford can't run for office without his Republican opponent, Karl Rove, and Ken Mehlman leching on him and taking turns at the keyhole. The South has made such progress, yet in affairs of the groin, it still has so far to go.

I think Jim means So Far From Heaven, the Todd Haynes film with Dennis Quaid as a closeted married man, Julianne Moore as his wife, and Dennis Haysbert as the dusky negro handyman she doesn't have sex with.

The sex is not subtle in the film, you see Quaid kissing a man in his office while "working late".

Now, I personally think that Corker is just jealous that Ford can go see Playmates and not get chased out of town for looking at white women, forget touching them.

I don't thinks he wants to be the playmate myself. But then, Mark Foley showed up to events with a pretty girl on his arm.

posted by Steve @ 12:35:00 AM

12:35:00 AM

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