I change my mind. Let's effing throw this game.
let's check out the list here, reverse the polarity, and set up a game plan for failure:
1. Use Crazy Talk. Crying "We're going to lose!", or "Americans are stupid racist thugs!", or "Bush will declare martial law!" is an electoral death sentence. That any of these statements may come to pass is not the point. The point is: Nobody wants the fearful, insecure, easily-excited person anywhere near the bright, shiny nuclear missiles, or anything of similar importance.
2. Be As Alien As You Possibly Can, in Dress, Manner of Speech, Agenda. Make the most radical, transformative, challenging agenda item you've got your core, all-or-nothing, my-way-or-the-highway election principle. Better still: Go head-to-head against the most uncontroversial, widely-accepted value of the opposition. After all, you are right and all those stupid racist thug Americans are wrong.
3. Lie. Dissemble. Evade. Do so lots. That way, you'll always get tripped up on details, the media will hound you nonstop, your opposition will pick you apart both for having bad stands, multiple stands, no stands at all.
4. Cater To Your Opponent's Base. Make them want to vote for you, because you're almost as good as their candidates, by the criteria that are important to the opposition. Challenge your own base, with declarations of their error, and your rectitude, and how they should either vote for you or you'll go hang out with your new friends on the opposing team, that is, if they'll let you hang out with them.
5. What You Say You'll Do, Don't. Stick to speeches, and posturing, and declaring to all who still listen that Americans are stupid racist thugs but your base is a bunch of weak-kneed, insecure intellectuals. Do your job? Why? That would be either helping the thugs or the weenies, no matter what you do!
6. Be A Bad Guide. Stick to public policy issues that you know nothing about, insist (even throw tantrums) demanding that people follow your lead, and when some assent is given just to shut you up, lead the people into disaster, because doing the country a good turn either helps the opposition or your own base, neither of which you really like very much, nor they you.
7. Be A Pretender No matter how malicious your motives and pathetic your political chops (see above), be for all the world the verisimulitude of a great statesman and leader. Insist via your PR team that you are a great statesman and leader. Self-reference lots...but be sure to throw in that you think Americans are a bunch of stupid racist thugs but you stand with them against the weak-kneed insecure intellectuals that have taken over your own party.
8. Revel in the Backlash. Disregard polls. Abuse the base and the public will. The rejection of the multitude just shows how decisive and powerful and great a statesman you really are. If your base threatens a primary, end-run 'em, but fail to shut out the insurgency. If you lose the primary, threaten to run as an independent, or turn coat...that is, if the opposition will have you.
9. Be Feckless and Useless as An Agent of Entrenched Interests. Don't just take their money and support; take it, then do silly, useless things with it. Do so openly, to point out what a maverick you really are, beholden to none. Then go and ask for more money and support with even greater publicity. After all, you are a maverick. Your own person. 'Everybody' knows it.
10. Ignore Obvious Need To Change Yourself, or Your Game Plan Why change? That would be responding to the will of a bunch of stupid thugs or the advice of sissy elitists or the money of established interests. Just rock on, baby.
11. Flout Traditions, Even If You're Cool With Them Nothing applies to you, be different. Be insensate. Release your inner maverick. Insult everyone, especially your own voter and donor base, then demand their loyalty and support afresh.
12. Battle With the Voters. Just to make sure the scum get the message, let 'em know they're either racist thug dumbtards or weenie elitist geeks, one more time. They're wrong, you're right. After all, you're the maverick great statesman that stays the bad course, owes everyone, and pays back none. And Americans need to know they owe you some effing respect.
13. Allies are for Chumps. Undercut natural friends, alienate shared interests, leave an F-5 swath of political destruction wherever you go, because you're a maverick great statesman, and people need to give you your proper due.