What bothers me about Duke
Interfaith service at Duke
It didn't hit me until mid-bagel today, why I didn't like the way the Duke story was being spun. Forget race for a minute, because if you don't think that couldn't have been a blonde hair, blue-eyed freshman girl, you're kidding yourselves. It may have been in the past. But she might just be at a different school, with a large therapy bill.
This is about women. And not just strippers either.
I've been in situations just like this, strippers, jocks, booze and I can tell you one thing: no one got hurt.
They didn't enter hurt and they didn't leave screaming. In fact, there were times we prevented date rapes. Why? Because date rape is wrong. And it's not just athletes, because we used to drink with them as well, and they drank hard. And no one got hurt
My frat buddies lived in fear of a girl complaining about something in the house, because of the trouble which would follow. Accusations of rape were a quick way to lose respect among the brothers, forget a real victim.
I'm listening to all the arguments about her lying, and I'm saying that's not adding up. That woman should have had no problems in that house. None. I've been in that room with a bottle of Jack at my feet and horny guys all around. I've had women crawl on me and dance naked inches from my face. I don't like strippers or strip clubs per se, but in every instance I was around them, no one got hurt. In bars or private spaces
I was the same age as those guys and friends with people from the same towns those guys come from and no one got hurt.
And to be honest most jocks care about one thing, getting laid. Which isn't all that hard for them. To lay out , what, $800 for two strippers was about something darker and meaner. If she was hurt, she shouldn't have danced, out of self-preservation for the team, if nothing else. I feel that they wanted to do something they couldn't get a Duke girl to do. Lying about the teams they were on, the numbers....not right
Why? Because I've been in that room and there was no reason for that woman to have a scratch on her. Forget the e-mail from Patrick Bateman Jr. . What the fuck was that about? Skinning a stripper? Jesus. Why would you write that if you were sane?
You can do the legalisms all day long, all I know is that I've been in that room and no one got hurt. And for the life of me, I don't know why that woman was hurt. If she was before, they should have helped her, and after, well, that's for the law to decide.
But I know those rooms, and how they can swing on a few guys. And my bet was that it was the animals who set the tone for the team. The coach let them set the tone, and is what happened socially. It all hangs on the morals of a few people. If some guys are into denigrating women, the others pick up on it to fit in. These guys wanted a show and they were gonna get a show, and more.
I don't know what happened in that room, what those guys said or did, and who backed away and who joined in. But there was a moral failure and it started when she walked in the door and just got worse. People want to discount her story for any number of reasons, but the fact is that this is not some uncommon event in college. Women get raped all the time, they get raped by jocks, and they have been raped at Duke.
What has bothered me from day one, was a feeling of malice around this. Instead of trying to clear their names, they acted like conspirators. Most guys I knew in that situtation, wanted to avoid anything like a rape charge. It was like these guys sought to hurt this woman and wondered why there was an issue. Even worse, if a crime occured, they roped people who didn't have anything to do with a few people's actions.
I think Duke fired the coach, and he was fired, resignation was to save face, because these guys were like a mean version of Animal House and he didn't do anything to control them.
Because, again, I come back to one thing: if she was hurt, why did they let her perform? Didn't they worry about being blamed for causing the injuries? I know I would have. I would have been worried to my feet about her blaming me and my friends for her injury. I would have paid her to leave, just to avoid any problems. There is no way I would have let her stay.
I would have been scared witless of her calling the cops. Even if these guys are stupid as posts, if they had pictures, they should have run to the cops with them. But to me, a hurt stripper would have been trouble to be avoided.
Which makes me think she wasn't hurt when she got there.
The more I think about, the more I think something wrong happened. Because I know what would have done, and it's pretty much the opposite of what they say happened.
If you've seen River's Edge, the story of kids covering up a murder committed by a friend, that might come to mind here. A couple of guys wig out, and everyone publicly wants to protect them.
Because, honestly, I can't get past her being injured and these guys being oblivious to the risk they took in having her dance and not getting her help.
posted by Steve @ 12:30:00 AM