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Comments by YACCS
Thursday, February 16, 2006

Go to Law

See, he went to law school and look where it got

My husband thinks I should make more money

I'm doing the kind of work I love, but he's earning so much more!

By Cary Tennis
story image

Feb. 16, 2006 | Dear Cary,

How do I get my husband to stop telling me that I make too little money? I am a full-time copy editor at a magazine, making what copy editors make when they first start out in their careers. I love my job and feel that I am well suited for it; unfortunately, the pay is crap (you're well aware of this, I believe).

My husband is a first-year attorney at a prestigious firm, earning more than triple my salary. He has worked hard to get where he is, putting himself through law school at night while working a full-time job at a firm during the day for four years. He grew up without much money, and the result is that he's not only deeply concerned about financial security, he now always wants (I'd even say needs) the best that money can buy.

He associates with a lot of attorneys whose wives are also attorneys or hold high-paying positions, and these people live it up in a way that we can't. This frustrates my husband and sometimes when we're confronted with this, he'll ask me why I can't get a better-paying job, perhaps go to law school and become an attorney myself. I've told him that comments like these are demoralizing, not to mention unfair, since this is the path that I've chosen for myself and I've worked hard at it -- he just works harder. He'll acknowledge that his comments are not supportive, but add that that's just the way he feels -- that I'm not working as hard as I could while reaping all the benefits of his hard work.


A Grim Reaper

Dear Grim Reaper,

There are three interlocking issues here. The first is political -- how two working partners of different sexes apportion the labor fairly. The second is personal -- why he at this particular time seems to have a need for you to make more money, and how you personally respond to that. And the third is historical -- what family history and long-standing needs are being expressed here.

Anyone think she's going to change her mind about her career to please her husband?

My bet is that he's gonna find a high salary wife sooner or later.

But that's my opinion.

posted by Steve @ 1:41:00 AM

1:41:00 AM

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