Bad shots have rights too
I only hunt the most
Want to Go Hunting
I have never been hunting in my life. After the Dick Cheney incident, I can hardly wait to give it a try. I must admit I am not much with a gun. When I was 12, my stepfather, a police officer (which explains my conservative views), let me try to shoot his .38 revolver. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t even pull the trigger. That settled any concern I might go to school in a rage and shoot people.
A few years ago, my youngest daughter and I took shooting lessons at a local gun store. The owner told me I was positively the worst shot he had ever seen. He stopped me while we were shooting targets to tell me to tell me I was shooting holes through the ceiling. I was dumbfounded. I hadn’t pointed the gun anywhere near the ceiling. The instructor seemed relieved when I left and didn’t encourage a return.
I don’t think my inability to handle a gun will matter now that I know accidents happen and hunters can get shot by their buddies. I used to think hunting was me versus dumb beasts that didn’t have much of a chance; but now I know hunting is a bit like being in the infantry (clearly a bit of sublimation on the vice president’s part, victimized as he was during the Vietnam War by student deferments): anyone can shoot anyone at a moment’s notice. There is something Hemingway-esque about this. Besides, I am such a poor shot I am sure I will miss not only any prey I am shooting at but any hunting partner as well. My shots will hit only trees or whiz into the endless horizon.
I have also found out that hunting is political. I don’t mean political in the sense of whether people should kill animals or whether there should be gun control. I have no scruples about killing animals and I think the more guns out there, the merrier. First, it gives everyone a fighting chance and, second, guns are really fantastic pieces of engineering. Third, how would Hollywood make movies without guns? They already have to make them without cigarettes, for no good reason.
Actually, professor, it's nothing like being in the Infantry, until, that is, the quail shoot back.
posted by Steve @ 12:01:00 AM