Sorry I slept with your boyfriend
And yes, if I wanted to, I could fuck your man
Whoops -- I did it with my best friend's boyfriend
She went away for the summer and one thing led to another.
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By Cary Tennis
Aug. 15, 2005 | Dear Cary,
I am in a panic tonight.
About a month and a half ago I basically slept with (in the Clinton sense) my good friend's boyfriend. My friend and I are law students. We'll call her Jane. Jane is out of town for the summer and she left her boyfriend (whom we'll call Sam) here after begging him to come live with her. I adore Sam, but we both knew it was best not to fool around anymore. So, we've done a good job of just remaining friends. I've done my best to deal with the guilt and moral implications and I've decided for the good of everyone I wasn't going to tell Jane what happened. I didn't want to be the one to break up a five-year relationship.
My new problem is this: I told a friend of mine, Ben, what happened during a drunken conversation the night after it all happened. He promised not to tell a soul. Today he told (kind of by accident). And he told a mutual friend of ours. Carolyn is young. She is 22 while I am 29. She called me tonight and told me what she knew. She then proceeded to tell me that she thought I did a horrible thing, that I should tell Jane and that she didn't think she could trust me now. I am scared that she is also going to tell Jane.
I don't want to defend my actions because I know they were wrong, but I want to tell her to stay out of my business. There is no good that could come of her interfering. I feel in danger of losing a bunch of friends here and I'm pissed off, but I feel selfish for being pissed off. I felt like Carolyn was my friend and that she could deal with a revelation that I wasn't perfect. But she couldn't, and I just want to tell her that I think she is too self-righteous and moralizing and someday when she grows up a bit, she might understand. But I don't want to lose her as a friend and I don't want her to tell Jane. So, do I just keep quiet? Is it best to come clean to everyone even though it might really mess with some lives? Is it any of her business? I feel like my world (and maybe that of a few others) is about to come crashing down.
Usually a Good Girl
He's babbling in his reply, but read it if you want.
Carolyn will find herself short one friend, and it won't be the letter writer, if she blabs this. Jane will hate her for her telling far more than she can imagine.
However, Carolyn is right, right as rain actually. There is nothing to understand. Good Girl is a backstabbing ho, as they say on Springer. Her girlfriend may not be a good girlfriend, but that's best for Sam to decide on his own. You beg your boyfriend to come live with you, then leave him for the summer, you're asking for trouble on the order of playing with gasoline and road flares. That says she takes him for granted. She, foolishly, doesn't think other women will fuck him. Oh well, women lose that bet every day.
Good Girl should be a woman and place her cards on the table with both Sam and Jane. Carolyn is not the problem. She's just the person who won't be your conspirator and since you didn't tell her, you really can't say shit about what she says.
She obviously has feelings for Sam, after all his dick didn't just spring into her mouth uninvited, and she should tell him this. Jane was stupid, she asked a sacrifice of her boyfriend and refused to make one herself. So if he acts upon that, well, shit happens. If a man did the same thing, it would be equally as foolish and selfish. Live with me, live with me, see you in the fall? Nope.
As Chris Rock said "guys say I want a girl just like her, women say I want him" so if you leave your boyfriend alone for the summer, he might move past masturbation for sexual pleasure.
As far as Jane goes, Good Girl needs to tell her not just about the sex, but her feelings as well. She isn't your friend, but a competitor. Why pretend she's a friend when you would rather make her boyfriend yours?
But she's gonna find out, women always do in the end and then she's gonna dump both of you. So it's better to be honest up front with everyone and let the chips fall where they will.
posted by Steve @ 11:47:00 AM