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Comments by YACCS
Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Drinking with the chickenhawks

College Republicans being trained

Nordy posted this up and it's pretty damn good. How he didn't get hit, well, they are College Republicans
College Republicans

As mentioned earlier, this weekend in DC was marred by the presence of the College Republican National Convention. Now, I had hoped to find a partner in crime who would be willing to videotape as I tried to get conventioneers to enlist in the army. Unfortunately, I was unable to get a camera for Thursday night. Friday, I had a soccer game, and Saturday I had tickets to the Nationals game, so I thought my weekend would be College Republican-free.

Luckily for me - unlucky for the College Republicans - I ran into a group of about 15 of them at the bar following the Nationals game. What ensued was a classic example of why people are always surprised I've only gotten punched in the face once in my life.

There was nothing about the group that immediately screamed "College Republican." They were dressed like your typical young-20-ish person (minus the one I noticed later on wearing the "Kick a Commie for Ronnie" t-shirt). They looked uniformly white, dorky, and puffy, but I was on the Hill, and that's how most Hill kids look. But there was something special I detected about these kids, and as soon as they walked in, I had decided to hate them. When they got their beers and became way too excited about playing drinking games, I realized the problem.

"Hey, are you guys College Republicans"

"Yeah, man"

"Nice job on the Iraq war. That's going really well for you guys, huh"

(nervous laughter)

"Seriously, go fuck yourselves"

(hearty laughter...from my table)

They then resumed their festivities. But soon one of their members stood up to toast what a success the war in Iraq continues to be.

"Dude, if you like the Iraq war so much, why don't you enlist. The Army keeps failing to hit its recruiting goals...they could use some new cannon fodder."

"Hey man, my dad was in the Marines."

"I'm sure he'd be proud if he could see you now."

Again, each table turned back to its prior interests. Theirs, drinking away the pain of their wedgie-filled childhoods. Me, returning my focus on the San Jose/LA Galaxy game (where Landon got his deserved comeuppance). But then, I was disturbed by yet another toast from the spawns of Coulter.

Them: "One more year! One more year!"

I had no idea what this chant was supposed to mean. But it didn't stop me from retorting: "My God, their toasting their virginity!"

I actually started to feel I was taking it too far at that point. So I kept to myself. But I could only contain myself for so long. When I saw two of the mouth-breathers asking our waitress where on their list they should next take their geek-parade, I pounced:

"Hey man, let me see your list. I'll let you know where to go. Hmmm, let me see. Well, these places in Georgetown are a pain in the ass to get to from here, unless you have a car."

"Well, we rented a limo, so that's no problem."

"Of course you did. Well, they all suck anyways. If I were you, I'd head to 17th and P. It's a much younger scene and there are lots of cool bars around there."

Hopefully he heeded my advice, and left DC with a whole new appreciation for the term Santorum.

Meanwhile, over at, two young lefties suppressed their gag reflexes, went undercover, and actually attended the events. Their full reports (highly entertaining) can be read here. But it was this exerpt that really caught my eye:
    But really, what disturbs me the most is the utter disrespect and scathing cold-heartedness these students display for anything to the left of Tom DeLay. During the Leadership Institue session a presenter asked the crowd, "What makes you angry?" The answers:
    1. Liberals
    2. Hippies
    3. Gays
    4. Democrats

    Eek. Now, if these answers had been "tax hikes" and "abortion", I'd understand because those are policies, but instead, these are people. The students' anger and passion are driven towards negative stereotypes and blatant hatred for various groups of people. And they're enthusiastically encouraged by their leaders.
Which is why I have no problem mocking these scumbags.

posted by Steve @ 12:00:00 AM

12:00:00 AM

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