Welcome to Atlanta, except for the Jew and the nigger
Wave to Rich and John and ignore Jonah. You know, he says the right things, but he
is a goddamn jew. And throw a brick at that goddamn nigger Deroy
Posted by James Wolcott
Well, now I understand.
I was wondering why the guys and gals and muffin stumps over at NRO's The Corner were flagging down motorists and accosting strangers to drag them into attending NRO's "Atlantafest."
This gala evening with the conservative no-stars costs $500!
No wonder they're worried about empty tables and waiters standing around with nothing to do.
Today, in an effort to whip up enthusiasm (only to churn dead air), K'Lo listed some cool reasons why You'd want to sup among the gods.
Such as (actual example), "You want to drink Jonah under the table."
Is it really responsible of the National Review, which once subscribed to Irving Babbitt's notion of the "inner check," to encourage the sort of Viking binge drinking that triggered such moral alarm among readers of Tom Wolfe's I Am Charlotte Simmons?
Only a few weeks ago, conservatives were mocking the boozehound exploits of the late Hunter Thompson as evidence of a desolate soul and psyche, and now they're encouraging fans to drink themselves insensible as Jonah paws the linoleum under the card table, puking up his dignity and leaving a dimpled pool for the staff to mop up later.
I hope the NRO crew are prepared for what will greet them once they deboard from the chartered Peter Pan bus with the special pinochle table in the rear. They should be made aware that there are a lot of black people in Atlanta. A lot. To those used to seeing a J. C. Watts or an Armstrong Williams sticking out like a chocolate chip in a vanilla cookie, this may come as a cultural shock. There is no reason for them to feel threatened or besieged, but if anxiety gets the better of them they can clump together in a protective scrum and move like a plump centipede from the Boss Hogg motel to the Carson McCullers Memorial Sad Cafe, where the fest is being held.
I look forward to the digital pix from "Atlantafest" that they'll no doubt post on the site next week showing Jonah and Derb with their arms flung around two Hooters waitresses who are doing their best to bury their shame and smile
They had to mock Thompson, he was more man than any of them. But then so are most women.
Atlantans are nice people, but I think Jonah better play down the Goldberg part with that crew. I think some of those folks are more likely to have issues with him or ask when he will accept Jesus Christ in his life.
Schedule of events:
Saturday 8 AM: Wench Breeding. Come and get a comely negro wench to satiate your needs
8:10 AM Finish negro wench, have her prepare your clothes for breakfast
9 AM: Breakfast: grits and gravy, eggs, sausages, bacon, the circumsized penises of bulls
10 AM-12 AM: Containing the
Jewish Hollywood threat
12 Noon: Lunch: Fried Chicken, watermelon, ice tea, served by the Dancing Minstrels who will perform after the meal.
1:30-3 PM: Making the most of your mexican slaves: A Wal Mart-sponsored talk.
3-4 PM: Abortion clincs and car bombs: bringing new technology to the culture of life
4-5 PM: Michael Schiavo: deranged killer, wife-beating sadist
5-7PM: Activist judges and the Barrett .50 rifle: together at last
8:30-Midnight: An old fashioned southern ball, where the glories of the Confederacy are recounted
Sunday 8 AM: Wench breeding
8:15 AM: Have satisified wench prepare clothes for breakfast
9 AM: Breakfast. Waffles, sauasages, eggs, and rocky mountain oysters.
10 AM: Devotional service. All non-Christians are given the chance to convert
11 AM: Slavery: Not as the bad as the liberal left says it was
12 Noon: Lunch catfish, hush puppies, pulled pork, cornbread, served by black Confederate reenactors
1-3 PM: Affirmative action: curtailing opportunies for whites
3-5 PM: Confederate reenactors stage the Battle of Ft. Pillow
5-6 PM: Deroy and Jonah run for their lives in the dual recreations of the Emmitt Till and Leo Frank lynchings.
posted by Steve @ 8:25:00 PM