Dear Ms. Cox
can that go up the bum?
Wonkette Calls for Panel Panel!
We've been following the scandal over the National Press Club's panel on blogging and journalism. Vital issues are being raised: Who is a blogger? Who is a liberal? Who gets paid to take it up the ass? Some are mau-mauing the NPC to put GannonGuckert specialist/obsessive John Avarosis on the panel; some have suggested that the "liberal" blogosphere be represented by one of the vast range of other commentators available, perhaps Atrios or Josh Marshall (that's someone who's either a lawyer or an academic, people. Talk about diversity!) In any case, there is a more obvious solution. Have another panel.
Now that anyone with an open conference room can have a panel, the days when you could tell who deserved to be on a panel by looking for a water carafe and a placard are long gone. Wonkette Whore Club will convene a session to discuss the vital issue of who should be on panels and who should write hysterical letters to panel organizers demanding to be on the panel. Panelists and non-panelists will debate the difference between them. Invited to participate are:
-- The Agonist (expert in who "owns" what story)
-- Steve Gilliard (expert in who is a good enough liberal)
-- Andrew Sullivan (panel whore)
-- Someone from Powerline (just following orders)
-- Me! (because it's my panel)
-- Terri Schiavo (news maker)
-- Jeff Gannon (ass-fucker)
CNN's Abbi Tatton will moderate, mostly by drawing yellow lines on panelists' foreheads.
We've heard rumblings that we should invite someone from the National Press Club. Ha! That would be like inviting a defendant to participate on his own jury. Or at his own trial. Something. It's just wrong.
How about someone other than Wonkette's Cox? and Keep Guckert/Gannon away from the press club [Poynter Letters]
I am expert on ONE thing. On how you keep making a fucking fool of yourself in public. People were once laughing at you, now you have over 70 people saying you suck in a public way. Take the fucking hint. Please.
Why? Because Glenn Reynolds and the Powerline boys bat you around like a fucking pull toy and all you can mumble out is how much you drink. When I drank every day, or close to it, you would have passed out under the fucking table before the shots got passed around, OK. So when talk about how much you drink, I don't know whether to laugh or to just roll my eyes. Only lightweights brag about their boozing.
Look, no one begrudges you your right to write books, peddle gossip or make money, which given the way your boss treats you, is understandable. But when everyone in range signs a letter complaining about your incompetent public performances, repeated incompetent performances, you could do one of two basic things: one, be smart, two, shut up.
Do you think we're sitting around rooting for you to fail and embarass us while doing so? There isn't a person who signed that letter who wouldn't love to say "shit, Wonkette kicked that guy's ass. Man am I glad she's on our side." "Thank god she's doing those interminable panels so we don't have to."
If your public performance, once, just once, had merited praise and not embarassment, we would collectively have been on your side. But you keep sucking and we keep looking bad.
You know, most of us don't get into fancy parties and run into Donald Graham to beg him for a job. We work alone, long hours, often seven days a week. What money we get comes from ads and outright begging. There is no staff to do research or even make sure our sites work. We work hard to make sure that we do the best job we can and that what we say is accurate and truthful. We value our reputations and our workethic.
And then you come on CSPAN and act like a party girl, dame whatever, and we're all gasping for air in shock at how badly you have peformed. Because, as we recover, we just realized that while you've promoted Wonkette, you've just made your peers look like silly drunken fools. Not that you care, as long as you sell that ridiculous, embarassing image of yours, no matter who else is diminished by it.
What the fuck do you think? We're here for you to step on so you can get and keep a decent job? It's not my fault you sold your soul to Nick Denton for $20K and that Kos makes what five times that on his own. That's not my problem.
What is my problem and about 70 odd other people, people, some of them, unlike my readers, who actually like you, is that you claim to be a liberal blogger and can't say one intelligent thing. You go in public and make an ass of yourself and then expect everyone to part of your enrichment game plan? Fuck that. It's not me deciding who's a liberal, it's a collective decision by a large group of people to say that if you're a liberal, please shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down. Because if you're the best we can do, that's pretty fucking sad. And over 70 people signed their names to to a letter saying pretty much that. That we would like to have someone speak for us who isn't playing at being stupid to get ahead.
I had nearly 80 people post on that Somersby repost, not one defended you or your character. No one defended your work skills, your personality or you. They insulted you, they wondered why you wouldn't just shut up, but no one said anything nice. No one.
Might you now understand that it would be best if you didn't represent yourself as something you're not, which is to say a thoughtful person with something to say about politics, and just go on as the drunken assclown that you so desperately want to be seen as. I'm sure they could have a panel, people paid to play drunken idiots and suck up to future bosses. Because that seems to be all you are capable of. If you want to be a clown, go ahead, the world needs more clowns, even on the stage of the NPC. But don't embarass hardworking people by calling yourself a liberal blogger. An assfucking clown blogger would do just fine. That way, you can keep your hard earned reputation intact.
posted by Steve @ 2:36:00 AM